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The Nilima Mehta Chat

That's very complicated. I am not sure if I want to go through all that legal rigmarole. It may be better for me to adopt another Asian child, don't you think? Isn't there an organisation which simplifies procedures?

Have you adopted a child?

Have you adopted a child?

Shridhar: We have an indepth pre-adoption conselling program which assists couple and their families with the issues concerning them. We hep them to resolve problems related to family inacceptablity , situations faced by families that have a biological child and chooose to adopt another child. We have very positive experiences of 'combination' families. In our experience adoptive parents have shared rthat ties of love can be as intense as ties of blood and that parenting is far more than birth.

Shridhar: No I've been a foster parent to five children.

Nilimaji... what do you advise couples who want to adopt, but their families are not for it?

(more) awaiting adoption

Ms Mehta.. what about couples who are capable of having their own kids, but still want to adopt.. is it allowed? what if the couple are married under the special marriages act?

Thank you, Mrs Mehta. Have you tracked such cases during their teenage years? What is the success ratio?

Apart from the procedures,etc. How do adopted kids feel when they know that they do not belong to their "parents" but are only wards?

Shaky:Its important that you recieve family support in this issue since its a very sensitive area . We could convince them about the joys of parenting through adoption by meeting other families who had similiar apprehensions but are now very happy after having adopted a child.

Ms..Mehta.. don't you want to answer my question? Please do.

Have there been cases where the adopted parents have rejected their children? Why? Or is the process irrevcable? How do you prevent child abuse?

Shridhar: As part of our post adoptive conselling program I've a lot of grown up adoptees who come for conselling or "for search" of their roots .

How do you tackle such situations? Have adoptees ever met their natural parents? Is it awkward?

if one is a single parent, does the adpotion authority sanction it and if so, what are the basic requirements that are required to do so?

Astad: Since we have a very intensive pre-adoption conselling we have not had any serious case of rejection of a child. Under the Hindu adoption law a adoption is final and irrevocable .

What happens when adopted kids do find their roots...regret? anger?....despair?....or what?

What kind of children are prospective parents looking for these days?

Astad: Through adoption follow-up program which is conducted by child welfare agenciues we have a regular supervion of the child after adoption thats how we try and prevent child abuse.

How easy is it for a single woman to adopt in Bombay?

Astad: Most parents are looking for a child that is healthy and without any serious medical condition. There are a few parents who seek to adopt special needs child with a medical problem.

What happens if the prospective parent is a divorcee? Would that mar his chances with the adoption agencies?

You haven't answered my questions...can single women adopt a child? Does religion feed ,clothe and love a child better than an adoptive parent?

Fee Male: Most adoption agencies prefer that the child is adopted by a couple so that the childn recieves the love and care of a family however there are some agencies that do single parent adoption . Legally it is possible for a single woman to adopt.

Caroline: I feel very seriously concerned that we do not have a secular child centered adoption law in our country , In the last few years my effort has been to contribute towards the draft of an adoption bill that will give rights to an adoptive child as that of an biological child irrespective of the relegion.

do you know of any single parents (women)who have adopted successfully?

Ms Mehta.. what about couples who are capable of having their own kids, but still want to adopt.. is it allowed? what if the couple are married under the special marriages act?

how practical is single parenting? especially if the parent is not terribly affluent?

Thanks.:)

Caroline: In India you have a we have a "sealed" record system whereby the adopted child has access only to non identifying information about the birth mother . There are mixed reactions when children learn about the fact of adoption there is sometime anger there is denial there is greif and finally it leads to emotional acceptance in some cases the feeling of the missing link continues through life.

Upto what age should a child be before it is too late to adopt?