These are not the best of times, for cricketers and journalists alike.

No one will talk, on or off record. No one has a point of view -- and assuming they do, they are not prepared to admit it even to themselves, seemingly. And when you get together with cricketers, it is off-field stuff that forms the subject for discussion and debate.

In fact, the journalist today finds himself in the peculiar position of being interviewed by his subjects. In the recent past, I've met administrators and cricketers, both past and present. And more than my asking them question, it turned out to be a case of them asking me -- what did the tax officials find out, who was raided, what is the status of the case... you know the kind of stuff.

There was this cricketer I shared a meal with, for instance. And when I finally managed to get a question in edgeways, I asked him, "Do you now feel that some of the matches which you played in could have been rigged? Do you feel that there could have been something more than mere cricketing reasons to some of the things that went on?”

“Yes," was the answer. "When I look back, I find myself shaking my head at some things that happened, which I didn't understand at the time. You know, when you are a junior player, it is never wise to get inquisitive about things, it is never wise to ask questions about senior players. You just do your thing, and that is that. I have never tried to get close to any of the big guys."

Why, I asked. After all, all of you play for the team, and 'team' means a group.....

"Oh," he said, "They are all stars, once they are off the field. They act like they have a halo floating over their heads, wings instead of arms. Not one of the senior players ever bothered to offer me a word of comfort and encouragement when I was doing badly, when I had an off day in the field. Team spirit is a concept no one understands, at least not in the Indian dressing room."

This player, and others like him, don't care overmuch for the BCCI's latest initiative, which is staggered payment for players. "These guys do all the dirty work, while we play our hearts out. And what happens? They get paid more than us. We may not be as experienced as they are, maybe not even as talented -- but we are definitely more honest and sincere.

"From now on, we will get Rs 30,000 per game, while the seniors will get Rs 2 lakh. If we play 10 games, we will get Rs 75,000 per game from there on. Isn't this unfair?"

But staggered payments, I point out, are a norm in various countries, you can't expect a debutant and the team captain to be paid the same amount, just like a clerk doesn't get the same as a CEO...

This is not an argument he accepts, however -- instead, he points out that on the field, it is perfectly possible that the captain gets out for a duck and the junior player plays the match-winning innings. Payment for performance, yes, but payment for seniority? Thumbs down, is the verdict from the junior members of the team.

Looking at the current scenario from another point of view, one player told me, "Just the other day, one of my state teammates asked when the team to Toronto was going to be announced. Earlier, they were never bothered -- now, there is the hope that the tainted seniors will be dropped and therefore, they will get a chance."

But along with this little glimmer of hope, there is also heartburn. "It is so demoralising in a way," a young national player told me. "We grew up watching these guys, admiring them, wanting to emulate them. It was a dream come true when I got to share a dressing room with them. Slowly, but surely, that awe and admiration is fading, and contempt is replacing it."

I was curious about the big one -- Kapil Dev, as coach.

"Oh, in one sense, fine, he never screamed and shouted at us. But he isn’t what a coach should be, in my opinion. He just couldn’t get us together. I found it difficult to follow what he was saying, and I got to thinking I was stupid, not experienced enough -- but then I saw some of the seniors smirking at his statements, and got the message.

"There was never a plan before a game -- I think each time, the whole team just kind of hoped Sachin would go out and do smething magical."

That was in itself an eye-opener -- but the clincher for me was when I asked him (how could I resist?) if he would ever accept money and throw a game.

"Look what happens when you do -- you get to lead fancy lifestyles, you get picked for the team over and over again, so hey, for 170 crore and all the media attention, sure, why not?"

The fans are cynical. The media is cynical. And it seems like now, the cricketers are cynical too.

Mail Cricket Editor