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'When I have a child, I will not let him have any religion'

Malar Mozhi, 32, yoga teacher, Madras

I am not a politically aware or politically conscious person. I am least interested in the political scene either. But I am aware of the social problems as I was a victim of one. I find our society very narrow minded, even now. It still looks at a person as a Hindu or a Muslim or a Christian, and not as a human being.

Just because I married a man who was born in a Muslim family, I was ostracised, victimised and persecuted. Just because I married him, a Muslim, I could not see my father or mother for ten long years.

I really suffered. You can understand how painful it is to be isolated from your own family, your own relatives and your own parents. I myself do not know how I survived the pain. I belong to a very orthodox Naidu family. In my own community, it is unthinkable to even marry a person belonging to another sub sect. It was then that I went ahead and married a man from a Muslim family. They could not tolerate my impudence at all!

It was only recently that my father accepted me as a married woman. I went to see him after ten long years and told him that after all I was his daughter. You see, education makes a lot of difference to a person's attitude and thinking. My brother who is educated has always been supportive of me. It was he who made my father change his mind. Oh! it was a tough, long and slow process. I am happy that now I can go to my house.

It was tough for me to adjust to my husband's household also. I wear a burkha when I go to my mother-in-law's place. I remove my pottu and taali also. I will not say it was difficult for me to change myself to a woman in a burkha. It was a different experience. The only reason why I wear it is that I do not want to hurt the feelings of my husband's mother. His sister wears a burkha at home, even though she is a lecturer in a college.

Between us, we have no problems at all. He allows me to follow my religion and I also don't interfere in his religion. I have a pooja room in my house where I have kept the pictures of Hindu gods like Ganapathi and I do small poojas on Friday and Tuesday.

But when I have to attend some of their functions, I feel very lonely. They separate us during such functions because men and women don't sit together in their functions. Naturally I feel quite out of place and left out there. I just watch everything. The most difficult part at such functions is that I become the centre of attraction. Whether it be a function in our community or theirs, people, without any qualms, point to me and whisper, 'Yes, she is the girl who married a Muslim.'

I still remember the days after the Babri Masjid demolition with terror. Many of our friends asked me not to go out alone late at night as they feared for my life. I may be a Hindu girl but I am married to a Muslim! Suddenly we became enemies of both the Hindus and the Muslims. When I was in a Muslim crowd, I heard them talking ill of the Hindus and the Hindu crowd talked badly about the Muslims. After that sad day, we ceased to be human beings. We were just Hindus and Muslims.

Threats to my husband's life have always been there. It worries me a lot. My husband Shihan Hussaini is a karate master and has now started drawing the image of Ganapathi to achieve communal harmony. We have started receiving threatening calls regularly. I worry for his safety because here people look at him not as human being but as Muslim who dared draw a Hindu God.

I am worried about bomb blasts. I am worried about communal clashes. I am worried about the hatred people have for each other in the name of religion. Don't you think all people are the same? Do you find any difference in a Hindu or a Muslim? I don't see any difference.

I have not voted in my life. He might have told you we do not have a ration card and our names are not there in the voters list. So, I could not exercise my franchise at all. When I got married, my father got so angry that he cut off my name from the list. Here they refused to enter my name. What can I do except watch the elections from far?

I don't believe in religion. I don't believe in rituals. But I do believe in God. I dream about an India where there is no religion and where there is no caste. I dream about an India where all people live in harmony. When I have a child, I will not let him have any religion. Let him learn all religions. Let him learn about the good things in all religions. I believe there are good things in all religions.

I studied in a Christian convent. I have attended church, participated in the choir. But I am a Hindu, now married to a Muslim.

As told to Shobha Warrier.

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