School of Schlock

A nothing movie with flashes of heart, Chance Pe Dance is a slow, indulgent watch -- meant strictly for the Shahid Kapoor fan.

Judging from the way over a dozen woman gasped as he appeared shirtless (and, naturally, six-packed) in the new film, this is a growing tribe. And while Kapoor might be likable enough to pull off a role in a film that goes nowhere at all, he still doesn't have the screen presence to shoulder a film on his own.

Director Ken Ghosh makes him try, though, setting up convenient loops for Shahid to bound through: he acts, he grins, he dances. Subtle Shahid makes an appearance, as does overdone Shahid, sucking in his cheeks as he pirouettes in front of the mirror. The pretty Genelia [ Images ] D'Souza, pitched over the top in a very weakly written character, just jars.

This is the story of a Bollywood struggler, and it initially feels refreshing to see the leading man be this clueless and this complete a loser. Yet success, which originally evades him -- making him sob -- eventually falls into his lap, and there's no great conflict for this boy who seems wonderfully comfortable living in his car night after night. Clearly, the Mumbai [ Images ] Police loved Kaminey [ Images ] and are letting him be.

Points should then be awarded, I guess, for unpredictability. The struggler doesn't struggle, the heroine doesn't once have an emotional showdown with him, and the smarmy director steps warmly aside to allow the lad a chance -- after all, he spoke about his dearly departed mother so well, didn't he?

Instead, he walks into a woefully low-paying teaching job and takes a bunch of ill-choreographed children to dance-contest victory.

None of these departures from the conventional work at all, however, and we're served up a film that mostly refuses to amuse or to compel.

There are a few warm touches and Kapoor occasionally manages to sparkle. But there are far better places for a showreel than in a movie theatre.

It's mostly harmless, and certainly harebrained. Leave it to the Shahid-obsessed.

Rediff Rating: