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'I always see what I could have done better'

Any dream roles or films? Have you come across any roles that have excited you as an actress?

That's an interesting question, because I don't think so much in terms of what I would have loved to play when I come across a movie where I'm moved by a particular character. Rather, I think what a great opportunity it would have been for that actress to have played that role. I also dwell on the tremendous range and expression that the role would have offered.

I recently saw a film, Bringing Out the Dead, by Martin Scorsese, and there's a character in it played by Patricia Arquette which would have been very fascinating to play. Also, I was immensely impressed with Smita Patil in Mirch Masala and Waheeda Rehman in Guide. In the international scenario, Gong Lee in Ju Dou and Jodie Foster in The Accused had very powerful roles. Another dream role is the part of Cleoptra in the play Antony and Cleopatra.

What excites me most is to play characters that are very different from each other. For instance, I've been cast in a number of period pieces and I'm very energized about that because it's a different kind of a challenge. They're all set in the 1930s and 1940s and some even later, in the 1960s and 1970s. But I'm dying to do a film that is set in India during the turn of the last century. This in some ways would be a dream role for me.

That, and being able to play someone who is very tough, down to earth, not fragile and a no-nonsense kind of role. This particular role because I realise that in some people's eyes I am an actress to whom they attribute a kind of fragility and soulful quality. I'd also love to do an absurd comedy that will be absolutely rambunctious and over the top.

What are the topics of the films you have made?

Most of my short films have been about women. Temina is about a woman living in the past in the fading memories of her dead husband and how she comes out of that with the help of someone she meets. Sugar and Spice, which was the take-off on Little Red Riding Hood, is about the strange dynamics between a human cannibal and a young girl.

The Nose Lover is about how male fetishes and fantasies regarding women affect the self-perception of women. Don't Stand So Close to Me, which is a dark comedy about sexual harassment, is about a teacher who has a student who is completely infatuated by her. She tries all the conventional methods of getting rid of him, but when they all fail she decides to invite him over and gets rid of him by convincing him she's a psychopath. My movies are mostly about the predicaments that women get into and how innovative we have to be to get out of them.

I'm drawn to dark comedies and romantic love stories as genres of movies. Some of my favourite films are romantic dramas -- I love many of the movies made by Raj Kapoor and Guru Dutt. When it comes to romantic comedies, I love the work of Hrishikesh Mukherjee, Basu Chatterjee and, in Bengali films, Tapan Sinha. A recent movie I really liked is Rangeela.

Tell us about your forthcoming films and projects.

I've a number of films on hand. One is a Canadian-German production, Partition, directed by Vic Sarin and music scored by Philip Glass and Ravi Shankar. It's a Romeo-Juliet kind of love story where I'm playing a Muslim woman in love with a Sikh man. Trip to Ithaca, by Pedro Loeb, is an Argentinian film about an Indian dancer who moves to Buenos Aires and learns the flamenco. There's an Italian film, Wedding List, in the pipeline...

On the Indian front, I'm doing a few films with Ketan Mehta, starting with Garbhit (Pregnant with Meaning), which is a futuristic science fiction movie. Then there's The Rising, which is a period film set against the revolts of 1857.

I'm also doing a film with Srinivas Krishna, called Waiting for the Mahatma. It is based on a novel by R K Narayanan, and is about a woman, a freedom fighter, who has been brought up by Mahatma Gandhi.

Weren't you approached to play the lead in the movie based on Amitabh Ghosh's novel, Calcutta Chromosome?

Yes, I was approached for the role and it was to be an Italian production. But the film is now on hold.

Would you consider the role if the film is actually made?

I'm a great admirer of the book and would definitely be interested in playing the part, but that again would depend on the strength of the script and the quality of the production, as is the case with all my films.

Professionally, what standards have you set for yourself?

I'm very difficult to please when it comes to my own work. So I know that if I'm absolutely fulfilled with the work I've done, be it writing or acting, then it must have been of a certain standard because I don't get satisfied easily. But I don't know if that's ever going to happen because even if the work I've done is acclaimed, I always see what I could have done better. I don't have any external standards to judge my work with because my personal expectations are so difficult to meet.

What would you consider to be your most significant achievement so far?

I don't think my most significant achievements can be measured with any one piece of work as yet, although I hope that day comes soon. What is a meaningful achievement is that I've been expected to make choices other than what I've made in my life, both personally and professionally, in spite of which I've still thought with my heart. I think there's certainly something in me that is happy and proud about the fact that I've made some of the crazy choices that I have. It's not always easy to follow your heart but this is something that I've done.

Professionally speaking, how has the journey been so far? Any lessons learnt?

I've definitely learnt so much more about actual film-making. It's one thing to make short films in film school, win prizes for them and travel all over the world with them -- you're still living in an unreal world. It's quite another thing to make films in the real world. I think I've learnt a lot about myself through my profession, be it what excites me, what depresses me, what I go into denial about -- all the kind of things that I probably wouldn't want to deal with had I not become an actress.

One of the reasons I love films so much is that you have to work with a number of people and, not only that, but work well with them. This can be overwhelming at times, especially when you realise that the quality of a film ultimately depends on so many factors. It is an art to get it all together and to be able to get along with everybody. Fake sincerity doesn't last long here; what lasts are hard work, dedication and honesty, and this is what film-making teaches you.

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